You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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