How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize