I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
