He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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