We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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