Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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