But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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