In the future we'll all be gay
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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