she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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