I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
