just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
