Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
