Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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