Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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