therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
