The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
