my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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