Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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