I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
