with your own penis?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
