I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
