You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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