Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
