she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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