If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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