He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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