Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
