I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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