bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
