i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
