New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Pooping to opera.
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