just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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