Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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