and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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