i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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