Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
