I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She bit a glass in half.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
