listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
