I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
