dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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