clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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