I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
