Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
