theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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