I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
be right there i have to get my cape
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