Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
