Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
