Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Small penises have feelings too.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
