That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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