Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
