he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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