he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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