I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
