never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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