so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
