well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I could fuck to npr.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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