doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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