I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
